Weird Doodles

Hello friends,

In the absence of any ideas for new cool projects, I've been taking some shitty old drawings from several years ago and trying to re-work them into better drawings. Unfortunately, I don't have any "before" pictures; I tried taking some, and quickly discovered that it was a sure-fire way to jinx the drawing. You'll just have to take my word that they were even shittier before.

The other thing is that I bought a set of glitter fluorescent gel pens a while back, discovered that they were of low quality, and now am trying to use them up. The scanner doesn't pick up the fluorescent colors too well, but the glitter shows up rather nicely.

You can click on any item to enlarge. I'd make them bigger, but it seems to create formatting issues on this blog.

You can't see here, but her wings are fluorescent orange and yellow like a monarch's.

Her wings are more neon green. The gel pen makes the paper buckle, but at least it's easier to see the sparklies.

I didn't notice that the paper folded on the scanner, but I kind of like how it looks.

More later... maybe...

You're welcome, Internet.

I just want y'all to know the internal conflict I struggle with daily.

If I were a real dick, I would have written, "NOBODY CARES, JENNY!"

But I didn't.

Because I'm not a dick.

(But damn, I sure wish I were sometimes.)

Tuesday Evening

The Trouble With Men

20 Things I Remember About High School

1. Everybody who was somebody wore Calvin jeans, a Tommy shirt, and Doc Marten sandals. (Yes, Doc Marten used to make sandals.)
2. Watching South Park - how shocking, edgy, and hilarious it was!
3. All the girls had chunky blonde highlights, and all the boys had spiked blonde tips.
4. I was really, really shy.
5. Portable CD players - you could bring your music with you, but you had to hold it upright so it wouldn't skip.
6. Being really freaking cold in school. Cold metal chair = cold butt.
7. Cheap lunch cost $1.75, and expensive lunch cost $2.50.
8. Reading "The Scarlet Letter," and having to write a series of papers on that boring-ass book.
9. Learning how to change outfits on a bus without taking off your clothes, thanks to marching band.
10. Everyone wore those chokers made of beads, puka shells, or hemp (or some combination thereof).
11. "The Simpsons" came on every day at 5:00, and we all knew it was time to transition into the evening.
12. Thongs, underwear invented by a sadist.
13. Making fun of that song that went, "I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch..."
14. It was fashionable to be anorexic; all the girls would get a salad and a bottled water for lunch, and sit around and brag about how little they ate the day before.
15. Every date or group outing seemed to end up at Village Inn.
16. I had these black knee-high 4-inch platform black leather boots that I wore with everything.
17. Glitter, glitter, everywhere, on your eyelids, cheeks, nails, and even arms and shoulders. Somehow after about 30 seconds there was no glitter left on your body, but a light crust all over pillows, car seats, and furniture.
18. I fell asleep in class a lot.
19. Seeing a movie ticket stub for "Home Fries" on the cafeteria floor.
20. School Spirit Day: freshmen = white, sophomores = blue, juniors = green, seniors = black.

How about the rest of you? What do you remember?

Curling Iron Yoga

Or, why I hate styling my hair.

Oh, yeah, that.

So I guess I kind of trailed off on the monster girl thing. I kinda felt like no one was really reading it, so I was really just talking to myself, and what's the point of that? I do that all the time anyway.
Or maybe I was just so excited about the face painting I was going to do for a work event. Here are all the different designs I had to offer, and if you're wondering, the dinosaur was the most popular.

Thought for the day: If people can haunt houses, can houses haunt people? Discuss.

30 Day Monster Girl Challenge, Day 11 - True Monster

Not quite knowing what they mean by "true monster," I uploaded this old doodle from my sketchbook.

30 Day Monster Girl Challenge, Day 10 -Succubus

Oh, by the way, this post contains nudity. So, um, warning.

30 Day Monster Girl Challenge, Day 9 - Demon

Cut paper and gel pen.

30 Day Monster Girl Challenge, Day 8 - Octomaid

I was going to do a background and everything, but I was all like, "Oh, fuck it." Obviously I'm not the best Photoshopper.

Also, I would like to share that I am currently listening to Amanda's Bad 90s Mix on Spotify. Vitamin C, y'all.

30 Day Monster Girl Challenge, Day 7 - Plant Girl

The Creative Process II

30 Day Monster Girl Challenge, Day 6 - Spider Girl

She's just as scared of you as you are of her.

30 Day Monster Girl Challenge, Day 5 - Mermaid

This one kind of turned into a story of sorts. Sometimes you start a picture intending it to be one thing, and it takes on a life of its own. I guess this one had its own idea of what kind of picture it wanted to be.

My scanner is sputtering and dying, so I took this one with my iPhone instead. I suck at taking pictures, especially of flat things because I can never get the lighting right, so the colors are messed up... again.

I guess they kind of work.

30 Day Monster Girl Challenge, Day 4 - Naga

30 Day Monster Girl Challenge, Day 3 - Slime

And she is slimy.

Very, very slimy.

30 Day Monster Girl Challenge, Day 2 - Centaur

Okay, now I feel caught up.

Serg says looking at this picture makes him feel dirty.

Oh, Serg.

30 Day Monster Girl Challenge, Day 1 - Harpy

A day late and a dollar short, as they say. But they also say better late than never. They sure do say a lot of things, don't they?

Find out more about the 30 Day Monster Girl Challenge!

Moar Prismacolors

And now, for no reason whatsoever, a mermaid and a walrus getting high.

Supergirl

I'm not into the ladies, but if I were, I think I'd prefer the kind who could break both your heart and your pelvis.
On that note, here is my take on Supergirl. I used Prismacolor markers.

Reframing Negative Thoughts

I've been practicing this lately, because my therapist said that it will quiet the voices in my head. (My case worker said to stay on the meds anyway just in case.) Basically, any time you are stuck in an undesirable situation, you can flip it around and make it seem like you're having the time of your life.

Some examples:

Negative: "The neighbors are blasting mariachi music from their backyard."
Positive: "At least they're not blasting polka!"

Negative: "I hate living in this hick, podunk, white trash town. I wish I lived someplace cooler."
Positive: "Many people know what it's like to live in New York or LA. Very few people know what it's like to live in Skeeter Creek, Nebraska!"

Negative: "I hate waiting in line at the DMV."
Positive: "Finally, time to get caught up on my texting!"

Negative: "That small child is screaming his head off."
Positive: "I hate children, so therefore the fact that that child is miserable makes me happy."

Negative: "I am becoming out of touch with current youth culture, making me feel old and irrelevant."
Positive: "I've never been in touch to begin with; I've always been lame and dorky. Nothing's changed at all!"

Negative: "The neighbors are blasting polka music from their backyard."
Positive: "Rifles Unlimited is having a sale!"

Le Shower

It always amazes me when people tell me that they don't shower every morning. Are there really people out there who don't wake up and do this for at least 25 minutes every day?

 

 

I mean, I'm not judging; I just can't imagine any other way to wake up besides standing under a scalding blast of watery goodness.

Cut Paper Vignettes

My scanner doesn't really do the colors justice; that grayish color is actually a pale sage green.

I only had these particular colors of paper on hand, so it was a fun challenge to create different "feels" using a limited palette.

Illustration Friday - Shiny

So I haven't posted to ol' IF in a good while, but this week I just happened to produce a drawing that fits with the topic.

Scarab beetles.

Grandma Baise thinks they would make good jewelry.

First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.

This is the sort of thing I do when I'm avoiding things that I should really be doing instead.

Sometimes, I do stuff.

I've been away. But that doesn't mean I've been slacking (... all the time).

Here's a painting I did of Red Riding Hood.

The colors are crappy because my scanner sucks. Sorry.

Making art to send to credit card companies

In the past, I have been massively annoyed by unsolicited credit card applications in the mail. But not anymore!

Recently I heard about people sending the empty envelopes back to the credit card companies, so they have to pay for the postage without the benefit of receiving an application. You could go even farther and insert something heavy or rigid in the envelope (such as a thin piece of wood) so they have to pay even more. Credit card companies lose money in postage, people save money by not applying for credit cards, and the USPS makes money by delivering these envelopes. Everyone's happy! (Except for the credit card companies, but that's kind of the point.)

Apparently we're supposed to be making a statement of some kind to rich CEOs, something about corporate greed or middle class decline or income disparity or "we don't want your stinking credit cards." This guy can explain it much better than I can: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JlxbKtBkGM&feature=share

But here's the thing: the actual person opening the envelope isn't going to be the CEO. It's going to be some poor mail room clerk thinking, "Oh my, another empty envelope. Aren't we the social justice vigilante." And then they have to go back to their shitty job. So I thought, "As long as we're making a statement, why not to put a smile on someone's face at the same time?"

So I make things to put in the envelopes. Things to hopefully brighten mailroom clerks' workdays.

Now I can't WAIT to get credit card applications.

What do you think, Amanda?

Snowbot

Snowman

Robot

Snowbot

My Day Off

Accomplishment FAIL.