Day 8 - Honesty

I admit...

- Sometimes I pee in the shower. Not like a full-on pee - I don't go into the shower intending to pee, I always try to get it over with before - but sometimes I get under the warm water and a little leaks out. I try to aim for the drain as much as I can.

- On days when we have the heat turned off to save on energy, I turn on my space heater and huddle right in front of it. Not very energy-efficient.

- Before Hostess went under, I used to have a pack of Zingers for breakfast. Paired with a Diet Coke.

- I just drink a lot of Diet Coke in general. One time I thought about cutting back on soda, and I thought - and this is honestly what came into my mind - "But then what will I drink?"

- I totally don't give a flying crap about germs. If I drop food on the floor, I'll pick it up and eat it. I don't wash my hands after touching garbage; at most, I might brush them off on my jeans. If there's an unwashed glass that I drank out of yesterday, I'll drink out of it again without washing it. And you know what? I'm very rarely sick.

- I often think that smoking would be really cool, fun, and relaxing, and the only reason I don't start is because I don't want my health insurance premium to go up.

- There are certain groups of people who, in my mind, don't really count as people. Customers, drivers in other cars, and overzealous sports fans come to mind.

Thanks for listening, Internet. You probably think I'm disgusting now.

Day 7 - Shoes

Take a look at these bad girls.

Photoshopped to hide the shaky hand movement.

I had my first pole dance fitness class tonight, courtesy of iCandy Studio in Rohnert Park. It was fun, except for the part where we had to hula hoop. I am apparently lacking the gene that enables you to keep a hula hoop on your hips. I did not feel very sexy with a hoop clattering to the ground every three twirls, or my ass sticking out into the air while I bent down to pick it up twenty-odd times. I kind of want my money back for that portion of the class.

The rest was fun. I got some serious pole burn on my arm, too.

Also, I got my eyebrows waxed. I wish they could look this good all the time.

And smolder. 

Day 6 - Embarrassment

Basically, everything embarrasses me.

- I'm embarrassed when I finish telling a story, and the person I'm telling to says, "Yeah, you told me that already." And often, "... three times."

- I'm embarrassed when I show up at the wrong house for a party. (I did this for the first time last month. It was mortifying.)

- I'm embarrassed when I misinterpret someone's question so badly that I end up revealing something extremely personal about myself, when they were asking something completely innocuous.

- I'm embarrassed when I'm talking to myself and I accidentally make eye contact with someone, and it looks like I'm chanting incantations at them.

- I'm embarrassed when I'm listening to Hedwig and the Angry Inch and someone who's unfamiliar with the show walks in on the line, "Where my penis used to be, where my vagina never was..."

- I'm embarrassed to reveal that the first cassette tape I ever owned was Michael Bolton's Soul Provider.

- I'm embarrassed that I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was almost 11.

- And after 17 years, I still get embarrassed when I think about The Valentine Incident.



I'm getting embarrassed just thinking about all these embarrassing things. I'm going to go drink myself to death now.

Day 5 -Biggest Fear

My biggest fear? Go ahead, laugh.

Caterpillars.

I HATE THESE FUCKING THINGS.

I couldn't even look at these pictures while I was downloading them without getting a little nauseous. I can look at them now as long as it's out of the corner of my eye. And immediately after I post this, I'm going to delete them.

Day 4 - Pet Peeve

Today?




EVERYTHING.



(Estrogen is one hell of a hormone.)

Day 3 - Bucket List

1. Write and illustrate a(nother) children's book (no matter how many, this will always be on my bucket list)
2. Write and illustrate a graphic novel
3. Be a positive influence in the lives of troubled kids
4. Have my own Wikipedia page
5. Be in a band (other than the marching band - that one's already been crossed off)
6. Go to Burning Man
7. Go skydiving
8. Be a stand-up comedian
9. Write a full-length play and have it produced (I'd also accept a series of one-acts)
10. Listen to a cover of "Baby Got Back" sung by Sean Connery

Day 2 - Two

You and me against the world.