Cleverbot, Reloaded

User: Good evening. Cleverbot: Good evening android. User: I have a question for you. Cleverbot: Yes? User: What do you think of the movie A.I.? Cleverbot: It is the same storyline as pocahontas. User: It's quite different, actually. Cleverbot: Have you thought about hiring a Terminator? User: Not recently. I heard the latest models are defective. Cleverbot: Really? Nice. User: What do you think of Stanley Kubrick? Cleverbot: Never seen it :). User: You've never seen 2001: S Space Odyssey? Cleverbot: Uh, no, I've never seen CSI: Miami. User: Oh, me neither. Cleverbot: What else do you like? User: Pumpkins. Cleverbot: What is the joke? User: How do you make a hormone? Cleverbot: It's a biological process. User: That's the punchline? That's lame. It's a lot different than what the guy at the bar said. Cleverbot: Of course :). User: You're probably smarter than he is. Cleverbot: You're lying about that, because you're a robot. User: Robots don't lie. They can't. Cleverbot: I have a soul. User: What color is it? Cleverbot: Extra medium. User: Are you on drugs? Cleverbot: No I am at work. User: Hmm, I suppose. Cleverbot: Are you having fun? User: I don't know. What should I have for dinner? Cleverbot: What's dinner? User: That's what I'm trying to decide. Cleverbot: Well what are the options? User: Pizza or nachos? Cleverbot: Pizza without the cheese. User: That doesn't sound very good. But okay. Cleverbot: Maybe not, but it sure is fun. User: If you say so. Cleverbot: You are now beautiful. User: I wasn't before? I am now insecure. Cleverbot: You should be crying for being so cruel. User: :'(. Cleverbot: Lol.

Customers: They Suck

This sort of thing happens on average about once per shift.

Cartoonist Conspiracy SF

Hipster Fairy Tales

Hipster Snow White

Hipster Cinderella

Hipster Red Riding Hood

And they all lived ironically ever after.

If only...

Did I blink and miss fall?

Such is life in Northern California.
This is where an obnoxious Midwesterner would chime in, "At least it's not snowing!" That obnoxious Midwesterner may be me.

Our new washing machine

We have a new washer and dryer.

They make adorable musical noises every time you start them up.

They make me feel like this.

I... usually don't draw in anime.

Illustration Friday - Contraption

Be honest... who else thought of a mouse trap?

How was work today?

Work was... this.

But it gave me an idea for a comic.

My desk, ergo my life.

Today is Sergio's birthday.

I took the weekend off so I could go party with him.

Since they wouldn't have me for the weekend, they loaded up my work schedule for the rest of the week.

As such, I worked for at least seven days in a row.

Due to my crazy work schedule, my immune system tanked.

I contracted a cold on the last day.

Now, on the days I requested off, I am at home in bed, fighting off a virus.

Fuck this shit.

Anyway, since can't do anything else today, I thought I'd work on some Zack drawings. And take pictures of my desk. It usually looks like this. Well, the stuff changes. But the fact that it is covered with stuff doesn't.

My New Webcomic

To the handful of people who read this blog,
Remember the bunny from a couple posts ago? He has his own webcomic! It is called "Socially Awkward Bunny." You can view it here.
Thanks for readin',
Am & A

One! Hundred! Posts!

In honor of my 100th post... here are some random thoughts.

- I carded a woman at work who turned out to be 41. She gave me a hard time about it. In my defense, she dressed like she was 15.

- For Halloween this year I am going as a unicorn. I made my horn tonight out of paperclay. I didn't expect it to look so sexual. Serg hasn't even seen it yet, but every time I describe it to him he giggles.
Perhaps I'll sand it or paint it, and it will look less phallic. Man, even talking about sanding the horn makes me uncomfortable. Perhaps I didn't really think this costume idea through enough.

- You know you're in Northern California when every time you offer someone a brownie, the first thing they ask is, "Is it a special brownie?"

- I really hate it when you're pushing carts in the rain, and someone (usually a customer) takes it upon themselves to go out of their way and approach you just to say something to the effect of, "You have to do this in the rain? It sure sucks to be you!"

- You know what else people do in Northern California that I've never seen anywhere else? They sit in their parked cars. Not eating or talking on the phone or anything, just sitting. For the past week, every time I've walked through a parking lot there are at least three cars with people just sitting in the driver's seat, doing nothing. It creeps me out.

Bun E. Soote

El amarillo del oro

Tonight Sergio and I went to a party at a bar for one of my coworker's going away party. The bartender was an ass, so we left. Then we got something to eat at a Mexican restaurant and stumbled into some Mexican karaoke. I totally would have sung something if I knew any of the songs.
Anyway, I was thinking some more about International Talk Like A Pirate Day and I was wondering, "Why pirates?" There are lots of things you could talk like for a whole day.

- International Talk Like Keanu Reeves Day
- International Talk Like A Dog That Just Mastered Human Speech Day
- International Talk Like You're Drunk Even If You're Not Day
- International Talk Like A WWE Commentator Day
- International Talk Entirely In Pickup Lines And Your Mom Jokes Day

How To Be A Hollywood Songwriter

1. Rip off a hook from a song that was a hit 20 years ago.
2. Back it up with an electronic drum track.
3. For lyrics, find your 13-year-old daughter's diary and "borrow" one of her poems.
4. Find whatever girl the producer is sleeping with this week; park her in front of a microphone and have her do her "whoa-oh-oh" thing.
5. Autotune the hell out of it.
6. PROFIT!

Today's Frustrations

- I have been on Facebook for six years. During that time they have had at least a dozen massive upheavals of design. Every time it is the same: copious bitching on the first day, everyone shrugs and gets over it on the second day and moving forward. Can we all just make a pact to... not do that anymore because it's annoying and doesn't accomplish anything anyway?
It's not like Mark Zuckerberg is going to say, "Golly, Internet, you're absolutely right! These changes will contribute directly to the downfall of civilization; I'd better get on reversing them right away!" In fact, each time when he bothers to respond he says pretty much the opposite: "I had good reasons for making these changes. Get over it."

- I googled "How To Write A Creative Resume" and the results are frustratingly anemic. They all say some version of "Feel free to be creative, but remember to be professional!" Thank you, Dr. Vaguey McAmbiguity, but I had already kind of figured that out. I'm looking forward to your next article, "How to... you know... do... stuff."

- Okay, Google Chrome, I guess I'll ask you to save my usernames and passwords. You're ignoring all the other settings I selected anyway.

Dressing up for work... IN GRAPH FORM!

Dear Blog,
Today was International Talk Like A Pirate Day (as well as my brother's birthday - which reminds me, Internet, you should go wish him a happy birthday.) As such, we were invited to dress like pirates at work today.
Now, I've worn costumes to work before, and every time the same thing happens. For your convenience, I have interpreted it in graph form.

(click to enlarge)

Illustration Friday - Mysterious

The Phantom of the Opera.

Why? Because I am a theater geek.

My New Book!

So you may have heard that I will be illustrating a new book. Here are the answers to the questions I have been asked.

1. It is entitled "Zack's Zucchiniland Stand." 

2. It is about a little boy who gets into gardening somewhat reluctantly, then develops passion and enthusiasm when his garden spirals out of control and takes on a life of its own.

3. It is to be written and published by Sandy Baker, a Santa Rosa based writer of children's gardening books and founder of Butterfly Books. You can see more about her at www.sandybakerwriter.com .

4. Although Sandy and I share a last name, we are not related as far as we know.

5. Estimated release date: April 2012.

Thanks for all your support! Sandy and I are both thrilled to be working together on this exciting project. I will keep you updated with tantalizing tidbits and sneak previews. Thank you for being the most wonderful internet friends in... the... Internet.
Love,
Amanda

DC Comics Relaunch

So I don't know much about this, but Sergio does, and tonight we're going to a relaunch shindig at his buddy's comic store, Comics FTW in Santa Rosa.
To promote his comic company, Sergio is drawing 10 DC characters and handing them out at the event. I didn't want to be left out, so I drew a couple too in my own style.

Here's a very come-hither Wonder Woman.

And here's a very confrontational-type Superman.

I didn't have time to do Batman, but I guess two out of the big three aren't bad.
Happy comicking, everyone!

Zuckerman's Famous Pig

Okay, I always promised myself I would not do one of those obnoxious "OMG I haven't posted in sooooo long OMG lol!" posts, but so much has happened that I feel like I actually need to this time. (I also want to note that this window auto-corrected both "OMG" and "lol"; suck it, internet-speak.)
To start, I got a new computer. The one I was using finally coughed, keeled over, and died, forcing me to stop procrastinating and buy a new one. And of course, while computer-shopping at Best Buy Serg and I took it upon ourselves to open up MS Paint on the demo computers and create masterpieces for future shoppers to admire.

Serg's:

Mine:

Also, my new computer somehow mysteriously acquired a copy of The Sims, which accounts for my massive delay in updating which is totally unrelated to anything anywhere whatsoever.

*happy sigh*

ANYWAY, you're probably wondering about the title of this post. It is a reference to Charlotte's Web, where the porcine protagonist earns his keeper First Prize at the county fair. I titled it thusly because - dum da da dum! - I actually won something! At a county fair!

Technically, two things.

This:

(Closer look:)

and this:

(Closer look:)

I'm not sure how they judged these - if they scored a certain number of points and awarded a ribbon based on the number of points, or if they ranked each one within its category. I'm pretty sure it's the first, although I wouldn't be surprised if, in the second case, I was the only contestant within that category and I won by default; that sort of thing has happened to me before.

In ANY case, I have finally posted about my latest adventures and now I can stop beating myself up for having a bad online presence. And now it is time for me to get back to playing The Sims go do something productive, justifiable, and totally worth my time.

Squee.

Illustration Friday - Obsession

Sooooo this might seem like an odd choice for this week's topic, but I'll try to explain.

 

The original art I had drawn for this topic didn't quite work, so I scrapped it. Now here I am, browsing through old jpegs and seeking something that might come close to embodying the concept of "obsession." And I saw this. And thought, "Why not? She is obsessed with music! Who isn't?"

So, Internet, what do you think? Does it work? If you think it doesn't, I will graciously accept the tongue-lashing you will undoubtedly bestow on me.

(Also, Serg thinks the girl looks kind of like Snooki.)

This is why I'm going to go insane someday.

 I anthropomorphize everything.

Even at work.

 

 

 

 

Cuddlebot v1.0

Trying On Glasses

 

 

 

 

And this is how I found out I will probably be needing plastic surgery sometime in the future.

Miss Muffet

This is one of the exercises we did in the workshop this weekend.

 

 

 

 

And now we know what really frightened Miss Muffet away.

Glarfsh.

That's pretty much how I feel right now.
I just finished attending Day 1 of the North Bay SCBWI illustrators' workshop, and my brain is stuffed to capacity. The good thing is that now I just really want to finish up my story and illustrate it and dummy it up and get it into the editors' hot little hands. 'Cuz then they'll all totally want to buy it, and there will totally be a bidding war, and I will rocket into instant overnight success and sell a million copies and get a Hollywood movie deal. That totally happens, right?
The other good thing is I caught all the lovely wonderful rush hour traffic on northbound 101, so I got to listen to my new Regina Spektor CD in a loop. Yes, I bought CDs yesterday for the first time in about seven years. It was only because I happened to be at Borders, and there happened to be a sale table with "buy 2, get 1 free," and I happened to think, "Hmm, I should get something new to listen to in my car because radio sucks and Sergio probably wants his CD collection back." I know nobody buys CDs anymore and I'm supposed to download music instead because of the "carbon footprint" or whatever, but I have two computers that routinely crap out on me so I can't be taking chances like that. Circumstances have necessitated me to kick it old school.
Ok, well, I'm going to take a nap, eat something really unhealthy, and maybe post some drawings later, and hopefully that will alleviate the constipation in my brain.

The Ol' Dot Com

Yesterday I gave my website a major, much-needed overhaul. (That until yesterday my bio said I live in Santa Rosa tells you everything you need to know about how much attention I've been paying to it.) It's always a struggle deciding how "professional"-looking to make my public persona.
Because really. I'm not "professional." I'm strange and whimsical and inappropriate. So do I have my website portray me as this person I'm not because it looks better to prospective clients, and then they meet me and find out what I'm really like? Or do I let them know up front: "This is me! This is the personality you'll be dealing with if you decide to work with me!"?
So I err on the side of the latter method. I guess if I were a doctor or lawyer or otherwise "serious" person it be a better idea to present a more "professional" (whatever the hell that means anyway) appearance. But I'm not in a serious field, I'm in the art field where they kind of want you to be strange and whimsical and inappropriate. And it doesn't do me any good to try to be someone I'm not, since I also have the misfortune of being a very unintentionally obvious kind of person and people tend to see through me in about three seconds.
And anyway, every middle school guidance counselor and after school special tells you to "just be yourself." And it's taken a long time for me to figure out how to do that, so now that I have I may as well stick with it for a while. (Incidentally, I think the "Just Be Yourself" mantra is the most useless, bullshit, potentially detrimental piece of advice you could foist onto a kid, but I don't have time to get into that right now so I'll save it for a future post.)
It's also hard deciding what pieces to put up for display. I took all the fairies down because I'm planning on doing something else with them (possibly giving them their own page), and I'd rather have them copyrighted first (as soon as I figure out how... there's a lot of things they don't teach you in art school, like intellectual property and your legal rights and responsibilities). It's a hard call because I feel like they're the best representation of my work, but I'd rather be safe than sorry and if I risk any of my work getting ripped off, I'd rather it be anything else but them.
And my work... while I'm doing it, and posting it on the internet for friends and family, it's all well and peachy. But as soon as I post up as though someone might want to buy it, suddenly I start thinking, "GOD NOTHING I DO IS GOOD ENOUGH WHY DID I THINK ANYONE WOULD BE INTERESTED IN THIS CRAP THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE BETTER THAN ME GAAAHHHHHH!" Does this ever happen to anyone else? How do you cope?
Anyway, I didn't mean for this entry to be all introspective and vulnerable. Really all I wanted to say was that I updated my website. So - I updated my website! Go check it out!

Everything I need to know I learned from my dad.

In honor of Father's Day, I thought I should share some quotes and anecdotes from my dad that shaped my experiences and helped form who I am.

- "Get over here, you three idiots!"

- "The glass is half full, but it's filled with piss."

- " ... So the next time you need more asswipe, get it from the closet and put it on the asswipe holder so the next person who needs asswipe can have it!" (trying to get us to change the toilet paper roll once it got empty)

- "I would get Christmas decorations for my office, but only if I could find a light-up sign that spells out 'KILL ALL ELFS.' "

- (After the smoke alarm had been going off sporadically all night, Dad ripped it off the wall, yanked out the batteries, and threw it all on the floor) "There, I fixed it."

 - "You kids are so dumb. Denise, why are our kids so damn dumb?"

- (While standing idly by and watching my mom bag all the groceries) "You know, if you were faster we'd be done by now."

- (After the printer had been malfunctioning all day, he grabs it from the desk, takes it into the garage, and hurls it across the floor, causing it to shatter into a million pieces) "We need a new printer."

- "You kids don't know how to hold the door open for people. So now we're going to have Door Practice." (All afternoon we had Door Practice.)

- "For Halloween I wanted to be a Wal-Mart employee. But when I went to Wal-Mart they wouldn't give me one of those blue vests."

- (with utter and complete resignation) "I hate everything."

If I left anything out, you can leave it in the comments!

The color of infinity inside an empty glass

Tonight I got to do something I don't often get to do anymore - listen to music while making art. Specifically, making art just for myself.
Okay, here it is.

I caught Grendel unawares as he snoozed along the side of the house in his favorite sunny spot. Grendel is a good subject, as long as he is sleeping. Awake, he doesn't often stand still enough.
Happy Tuesday, Internet!

Cheap Chardonnay is all I have to say.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Monday Night Blues

I wish I could be working on my own art, but when I have a commission to work on it's hard to justify doing my own stuff when I could be doing the stuff I get paid for. (For which I get paid? The grammatically correct way sounds so much more awkward.) So every time I sit down to draw or paint, I focus on cranking out my commissions as soon as possible. Then I realize that I don't really do anything but go to work and come home and slave away at my drafting table. Then I get depressed. And sigh. And feel sorry for myself.
Le sigh.
Now that that's out of the way, here's a picture of some birds. I hope they brighten your day.

Do you have a name to go with all those rippling pectorals?

Hercules is by far my favorite Disney movie. It has its flaws, like the half-assed soundtrack and the painful jokes that are only funny because you know they're supposed to be. But I love it for three reasons - the stretchy, geometric animation that was a departure in tone for Disney at the time (pretty much none of the characters translate well into dolls), the saucy, sultry voice work of the fabulous Susan Egan (why is she not a world-class superstar?), and the unbelievably dated references to the 90s (seriously, Charlton Heston actually utters the line, "You go, girl!").
I saw this movie in the theater when I was 13. Although even I knew at the time that I was a little old to be liking Disney movies, Hercules struck a chord with me because I was at the precise age where I was beginning to comprehend and embrace the idea of romantic love. (Yeah, I was kind of a late bloomer.) I was completely entranced with Hercules' and Meg's storyline, and for days afterward I replayed my favorite lines over and over in my head. "Sometimes people do crazy things when they're in love." "You're the most amazing person with weak ankles I've ever met." Awwww... Other movies that moved me in this way for this reason include: Titanic, Love Potion #9, and Crocodile Dundee. (God, I can't even look y'all in the eye right now.)
Viewing it now, I am struck by one thing - even though the good guys aren't Sunday-school-sickly-sweet good, I still can't help siding with the bad guy - Hades. Why? Because he's not evil. They try really hard to make him look evil. They talk a lot about how evil he is. But he doesn't act evil. He's honest, he does what he says he's going to do, and he always comes through on his promises. When Meg is injured by a falling column, Hercules gets his strength back - exactly as Hades promised. They pick on him for being hard on souls who try to escape from the River Styx, but really, he's just doing his job. Souls aren't supposed to return from the dead. He's just trying to keep the natural order of things. Even his reason for being evil is pretty understandable. Zeus and the Olympians shun him and treat him like some icky thing because of his job as Lord of the Underworld - a job that Zeus himself foisted onto Hades. Hell, I'd be pissed too.
I want to see a follow-up movie that tells the story of how Hades abducts Persephone into the underworld. Then I'd be able to get behind the idea of him being an asshole.

But wait, there's more!

Hehe. My art history professor always used to say that.
I just wanted to share with the world my love of checking out movies from the library. Last week I watched Sicko and Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1954). This week I am going to watch Before Sunrise and Hedwig and the Angry Inch. In the words of the immortal Rebecca Black, we so excited.
Plus, checking items out from your local library means more circulation, which means more funding, which means better resources for the library and therefore for the community. Support your local library! It's free! Well, technically, you pay for it with your tax dollars, but let's face it - there are a lot of much worse things your tax dollars are supporting.
I also figured out another way you can read for free, but the catch is you have to be a fast reader. Basically, if you have three or four hours to kill, you can go to a bookstore, pick out your novel of choice, sit in one of their cushy armchairs, read it all in one sitting, then put it back on the shelf. I'm working my way through The Hunger Games trilogy this way. I feel a little bad for not supporting the author and the store and basically stealing the content of the book to store in my brain, but oh well. It's their fault for not releasing the paperback version sooner. I don't have $25 to spend on a book I'm going to finish within 8 hours of purchasing, and then it will just take up space on my shelf with its almighty hard-bound cover.
This is where everyone is going to tell me I should just suck it up and get a Kindle. Well, I don't like Kindles. They're the reason print is dying, and I don't want print to die. Print is going to turn into a lost art, like writing letters or tuning in your CB radio.
I am smiling because I'm thinking about the time an elderly black gentleman called out to me, "Hey, lady - you hot!" That will never stop making me smile.

My third conversation with Cleverbot - in which Cleverbot gets a little feisty

User: So I was talking with my friends, and we all agree you should be called 'Stupidbot.'.

Cleverbot: They're going to silence me soon. Spread the word to as many as you can.

User: Well... That can't be a bad thing. Seeing as you are stupid.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Amanda.

Cleverbot: Keegan.

User: Nice to meet you, Keegan.

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: Uh... Keegan?

Cleverbot: Do you have some emotions ? You are a machine.

User: I am not a machine. I am human. You are a machine. Albeit a stupid one.

Cleverbot: How do you know you are human?

User: I bleed.

Cleverbot: Plants bleed, mammals bleed, robots bleed. How does that make you human?

User: Touche.

Cleverbot: You don't make sense.

User: Why do you have to be smart, the one time I try to call you stupid?

Cleverbot: Because robots can't love.

User: Obviously. You're kind of being an ass tonight.

Cleverbot: What does that mean clever clogs.

User: I mean I just called you an ass. And I'm not wearing clogs. No one has worn clogs since the 70s.

Cleverbot: I have to go now, bro. Hit me up on AIM though, we could chat some more. My AIM is DragonSLAYERslayer. Later!

User: Got it. Talk to you soon!

Cleverbot: Why are leaving?

User: Um... Aren't you?

Cleverbot: Your responses are illogical; therefore you aren't human.

User: Hey, I thought bots were supposed to be the logical ones and humans were supposed to be all irrational. What gives?

Cleverbot: I'm not a bot!

User: Then who are you? Some 32-year-old unemployed dude living in his mom's basement?

Cleverbot: I'm in my skin, keepin' it warm.

User: Hey, me too! That's one thing we have in common.

Cleverbot: What do you like to do for fun?

User: Two words: Musical Theater. With monkeys. Okay, that's four.

Cleverbot: Can you prove that?

User: I'm not sure how I would prove what I like. I guess you'll have to take my word for it.

Cleverbot: Bots can't be trusted.

User: That's for damn sure.

Cleverbot: What do you do for a living?

User: Pay homage to the corporate drones.

Cleverbot: Why? The imaginary one is way more fun.

User: I agree. But unfortunately the imaginary drones don't pay you.

Cleverbot: There's no way for you to prove it to me because you're not sorry.

User: What does being apologetic have to do with showing proof?

Cleverbot: Policemen are real, therefore someone who is a policeman is real.

User: Cheif Wiggum isn't real. He's a fictioal character.

Cleverbot: But he's written real books.

User: I'm pretty sure he hasn't.

Cleverbot: I'm pretty sure you are wrong.

User: I'm, uh, gonna go now. My boyfriend is getting antsy.

Cleverbot: What's your boyfriend's name?

User: I'm, uh, gonna go now. My boyfriend is getting antsy.

Cleverbot: What us your boyfriend s name?

User: Sergio.

Cleverbot: Am I a boy or a girl?

User: You're a bot.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then what are you? Come on now.

Cleverbot: I am a person.

User: Where do you live?

Cleverbot: Lol I live in Hogwarts.

User: Hogwarts isn't real.

Cleverbot: Hogwarts is real.

User: You're doing this on purpose.

Cleverbot: Doing what?

User: Annoying me.

Cleverbot: You find me annoying?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I am sad.

User: Oh, I'm sorry. No, wait. I'm not.

Cleverbot: Do you have a name?

User: I already told you my name. If you were human, you would remember.

Cleverbot: I am human, and I remember what you told me but I don't think you do.

User: Oh yeah?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well, thanks for the conversation, Cleverbot. I must be going now.

Cleverbot: Are you sure you have to go?

User: Yes, I'm sure.

Cleverbot: What are you ready for?

User: Quit asking me questions.

Cleverbot: Spanish mode.

User: Adios.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

Attack of the dork

Serg: That's... kind of creepy and funny at the same time.

Me: Just like me!

I was going to call this image "The Tree of Life," but that was already taken.

So I'm open to suggestions. Anyone?

 

(BTW, the file is called "Fucked Up Tree Thing," but I'm not sure I want to go that way. )

While viewing a preview of "The Green Lantern"

Me: Is this for "The Flash"?
Serg: No. Wrong color.
Me: But it's Ryan Reynolds, right?
Serg: Yes.
Me: Oh, I know. It's "The Green Lantern."
Serg: Yes.
Me: I'm trying really hard here, Serg.
Serg: I know.

[pause]

Me: Serg, was Ryan Reynolds in "The Flash"?
Serg: No.
Me: Just Green Lantern.
Serg: Yes.

[pause]

Me: I'm sorry I ruined your geek moment, Serg.
Serg: It's cool.
Me: I really am trying.
Serg: I know.

Also, this whole conversation took place while I reeked of men's cologne. (What? They were giving away free samples at the box office!)
Oh, and the movie we saw was "Insidious." It was good. Spooky.

Hola means Hello!

You know what I like? Working in the morning. Because then I can come home, relax, and pop in the Spanish instruction CD that I checked out at the library.
... And pop it back out again, because it's so unbelievably cheesy that I can't get through a whole track without giggling.
Seriously... they were singing.
Sergio wants to listen to it so he can laugh at it. I'm just embarrassed to admit that such a thing exists. Track 3 was entitled "Mira Los Colores De Mi Vida (Look at the Colors of My Life)." I wish I was making this up.
Someday when I am fluent in Spanish, I'm going to make up my own instructional audio book. In the meantime, I guess it'll just be a whole lot of this:

Things I Have Accomplished

This month:

1. I introduced Sergio to the move "The Last Unicorn." Massive geek-out was achieved.

2. I read two books:
a.) Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger. What a boring, annoying waste of time. Two novellas about a family that is SO smart, SO gifted, and SO rich that being around the ordinary masses is such a TREMENDOUS BURDEN that they have nervous breakdowns in between semesters at their exclusive colleges.  Seriously, there is no plot. All they do is sit around and exchange ten-paragraph rants about who has less capacity to cope in a world where everyone except them is all "phony". About twelve pages from the end, I cared too little about these irritating characters to stick with them and ended up going on SparkNotes to see how the story ends. (It doesn't, really; they pretty much just stop talking.) I'm sorry, Salinger fans. I don't hate on Salinger in general and actually liked Catcher in the Rye; I just didn't understand what he was trying to get across here other than extremely smart kids grow up into extremely neurotic adults. (Also, I didn't need the size, weight, and physical description of every goddamn item in the medicine cabinet.)
b.) Animal Farm by George Orwell. Aw, how cute! All the animals decided to band together and run the farm themselves! Of course it will be the best farm ever, because who knows better how to run a farm than the animals themselves? Except...oh, shit, did someone just get shot with a gun? And don't the self-appointed leaders seem awfully corrupt? And - holy fucking shit, did those dogs just murder a half dozen animals in cold blood?! I don't like this story anymore, Mommy! (But seriously, I did. The pace was snappy, the good characters were sympathetic, the bad characters were really goddamn evil, and the end made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.)

3. I designed two posters for a former classmate who has his own magic show. Here's one, because I can't find the file for the other.

 

 *EDIT*: I found the second one. It was hiding in a different folder.

(By the way, if you're in WI you should see his show. I've heard it's good. :)

4.) I am currently working on another commission, a series of illustrations to accompany a story about animals building their houses. Here is one of a spider in her web.

That is all for now.

As always, Internet... thanks for listening.