Five Things About Today

1. I trimmed my own bangs this morning. It looks like I did it with a weed whacker, but as long as I keep moving usually nobody notices how crooked and uneven they are.
2. I wore my new black skirt to work. The one I got at Banana Republic.
3.It is Sergio's and my one year anniversary today. How did we celebrate? I worked past10, and he is home sick with a cold. Go us.
4. I wore electric blue eyeliner today, just to see if anyone would notice. They didn't.
5. I had an awesome dream last night. I dreamed that I somehow finagled an invitation into the Playboy Mansion. Basically, I made it onto some list of "Hottest Women In This City" because I happened to be in a small Swedish town where the population was like 14, so I won by default. First I remember walking into a room where all the bunnies hang out, and it was decorated with mirrors and fur and pictures of Johnny Depp. Then I remember that all the contestants (they were both men and women) had to stand in a line onstage in front of Hef and rehearse the questions we were each going to ask him at the gala that was going to happen. All the other contestants (especially the women) were dressed pretty much the same - black pants or jeans and a stylish top. I however was dressed in white pants and a lime green jacket, so I already stood out. I had a question in mind, but a girl ahead of me in line said it first, so I had to quickly come up with a different one. When my turn arrived, I asked, "What is a question that you wish someone would ask you but no one ever does?" (This, by the way, is in real life the first question I would ask any celebrity.) Everyone around me made noises of awe or jealousy, and some even applauded at my awesome and thought-provoking question.
After that I walked in on a group sitting at the bottom of the staircase of the house in Nebraska I grew up in. Hef was surrounded by all the men from the group, giving them "manly" advice. As soon as I realized what was going on, I apologized and backed away, but Hef said, "No, you can stay, it's cool."
After they were done Hef stood up and offered me his arm. I thought he wanted me to take it, but instead it turned out he wanted me to hand him the two jackets I was holding (including the lime green one). As he was walking away with them, I thought, "What is he doing with them?... Should I ask him?... Am I getting them back?... Do I need to figure out something else to wear tomorrow?..."
There was more to this dream, but I'm sure you didn't really care to begin with, so I'm going to leave it at that, go to bed, and have some more wacky dreams. (Maybe some other time I'll tell you about the Robert Downey Jr. one. Why do I always dream about celebrities?)
Good night, Internet!

Conquering the Naked Dream

I have lots of dreams, and they are often graphic and vivid. I dream about the same things over and over.
I dream that I'm back in high school or college again, because the first time I graduated didn't count and I have to do it over. I dream that all my teeth are breaking and crumbling inside my mouth and falling out. I dream that I'm flying and trying to get to the sky, but there's always one more roof above me.
But there's one dream I don't have anymore: the naked dream. The one where you're doing something important, like giving a speech or performing on a stage, and you look down and realize you're completely naked.
I don't have that dream anymore because I conquered it.
The last time I dreamed I was naked, I was working in a factory of sorts. There were tons of people milling around, mostly men. I suddenly realized I was naked and everyone could see me. But instead of being ashamed and trying to find things to cover myself, I just went about my usual business like nothing was up. I talked to my coworkers like nothing was out of the ordinary, and dared them to look down instead of up. Inside my head, I was thinking, "Yeah, I'm naked... so what? We all know it's there, there's no need to be weird about it." I even felt a little cocky, like, "Hey everyone, look at me! I'm naked, and proud of what I've got! Don't I look good?" At no point in my dream did anyone try to arrest me for public indecency, or even say, "Uh, you should probably put some clothes on."
I am sure that the naked dream is a metaphor for self-acceptance. No one wants the whole world to see them for what they really are, faults and everything, but the sooner we learn that our faults are part of the package that comes with being human, the more freedom we have with ourselves, and consequently, the rest of the world. My naked dream was about allowing myself to be exactly who I am, and telling the world, "Deal with it!"
Now if only I could apply that lesson to my waking life...