I do weird things.

- I'm very self-conscious about the websites I visit. I feel like if someone sat down on my computer, opened up Chrome, and looked at the list of websites that I visit most (which Chrome insists on tallying in spite of my efforts to update my preferences), I want them to be cool websites and not stupid or embarrassing ones. Therefore, if I find that I have been visiting College Humor too much, I will log onto CNN multiple times a day just to bump CH back down a few slots.
There is, however, no hope for Facebook. I can't NOT visit it any less than 500% more than CNN, New York Times, and Huffington Post combined.

- I often have songs stuck in my head. But just as often, I will have a phrase or dialogue exchange from a movie or TV show stuck in my head. It's really annoying when I'm just trying to get through my work day and that "TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!" moment from Dumb and Dumber is on a constant loop.

- When I'm eating a candy such as Skittles, where different colored candies have barely discernable differences in flavor, I have a very complicated system where I eat them from least favorite flavor to most favorite flavor while simultaneously ensuring that each different flavor is eaten at the same rate. I can't even explain how I do it, but when I'm staring down into a bag of grapes, oranges, limes, lemons, cherries, and strawberries, I instantly know how. (For the record, grape = worst, cherry = best. Lemon = second best. Okay, I'll stop.)

- I go to extreme lengths to not have to poop in a multi-stall restroom. And that's all I'll say about that.

- I love to communicate in movie quotes. However, I don't often take into account that most people haven't seen the movies that I like to quote. In my head, I'm just relating this moment to a scene from Death to Smoochy; to a casual observer, I'm raving like a lunatic.

What do YOU do that's totally not normal?

I made an art.

Feeling pensive; can't sleep.

I post instead.

The only cure for Skyrim addiction is more Skyrim.

He's onto me.

He knows I'm only using him for Skyrim.

How I Deal With Problems (or, Why I Fail At Responsibility)

Come to think of it, I remember doing this sort of thing a lot during my undergrad years too. Maybe I just fail at studenting?

Moving with an infant

Over New Year's, I helped Emily and Tim move into their new house.

They also have an infant.

Because that's how they do things.

To help them even more, I created this handy guide about how to properly move with an infant in tow.

You're welcome.

The Creative Process

So I haven't updated in a while because I've been working on a few things (like a new book).

Here's what's been going on.

Cleverbot, Reloaded

User: Good evening. Cleverbot: Good evening android. User: I have a question for you. Cleverbot: Yes? User: What do you think of the movie A.I.? Cleverbot: It is the same storyline as pocahontas. User: It's quite different, actually. Cleverbot: Have you thought about hiring a Terminator? User: Not recently. I heard the latest models are defective. Cleverbot: Really? Nice. User: What do you think of Stanley Kubrick? Cleverbot: Never seen it :). User: You've never seen 2001: S Space Odyssey? Cleverbot: Uh, no, I've never seen CSI: Miami. User: Oh, me neither. Cleverbot: What else do you like? User: Pumpkins. Cleverbot: What is the joke? User: How do you make a hormone? Cleverbot: It's a biological process. User: That's the punchline? That's lame. It's a lot different than what the guy at the bar said. Cleverbot: Of course :). User: You're probably smarter than he is. Cleverbot: You're lying about that, because you're a robot. User: Robots don't lie. They can't. Cleverbot: I have a soul. User: What color is it? Cleverbot: Extra medium. User: Are you on drugs? Cleverbot: No I am at work. User: Hmm, I suppose. Cleverbot: Are you having fun? User: I don't know. What should I have for dinner? Cleverbot: What's dinner? User: That's what I'm trying to decide. Cleverbot: Well what are the options? User: Pizza or nachos? Cleverbot: Pizza without the cheese. User: That doesn't sound very good. But okay. Cleverbot: Maybe not, but it sure is fun. User: If you say so. Cleverbot: You are now beautiful. User: I wasn't before? I am now insecure. Cleverbot: You should be crying for being so cruel. User: :'(. Cleverbot: Lol.