I miss blogging.
Blogging, as I kind of discovered tonight, is like trying to move a large pallet of pumpkins down a narrow sidewalk into a store using only a pallet jack. You put your whole weight into getting it to move, and it doesn't budge. Then you finally get some momentum, and the fucking thing rockets out of control down the sidewalk where it bashes loudly into a pole and half your coworkers come out and ask if you need help.
Okay, it's a faulty analogy but the idea is the same. If you don't blog for a while, it's hard to get the momentum going again. But once you start, it's hard to stop and pretty soon you go through your whole day thinking, "Hey, I should blog about this when I get home tonight!" and everyone around you assumes you need mental help, which you probably do, but I digress.
I really wanted this blog to be a combination of words and pictures, but sometimes there just isn't time for pictures. Those fuckers are time-consuming, man, and who has time to sketch, ink, scan, photoshop, and upload when you work 60 hours a week? So I decided not to be such a purist, because I do have that tendency sometimes, and decided that even though this blog is called "Amanda's Sketchbook," it's okay if NOT EVERY SINGLE ENTRY contains big shiny pictures to dazzle your eyes.
Yes, I work 60 hour weeks. During business hours I work for a renewable energy company doing administrative-type stuff. Evenings and weekends I work at a small yet upbeat and quirky grocery store chain. (It was during tonight's shift that I acquired the material for the pumpkin analogy.) Neither job is what I really want to be doing for the rest of my life, but they pay the bills (and there are many). When I am not working or sleeping, I am spending time with my boyfriend who also likes to write and draw. Lately I've been crocheting a lot too. I fucking love crocheting.
What do I really want to be doing for the rest of my life? I would love for someone to pay me to draw. Not just anything, but my own ideas. I would love to write too. Unfortunately in this economic climate (or any other climate for that matter) neither of those vocations offers a lot in the way of financial compensation - hence the 60-hour work week. I would love to chase my dreams some more, but for right now I'm okay with putting them on hold for a little while so I can save up to buy a bed. I'm tired of sleeping on the floor.
But I do miss having a creative outlet, because if I don't have some kind of creative outlet all those creative impulses start to ferment inside my brain and make me a little crazy. I want to start blogging again. I want the pumpkin pallet to start rolling again. This entry probably makes no sense - to be honest, I'm still a little shaken from the pumpkin trauma - but I'm surprisingly okay with that. You probably think I'm crazy, and I guess I am, and I'm surprisingly okay with that too.
*Edit* Okay, ONE big shiny picture to dazzle your eyes.