Monday, May 30, 2011

My third conversation with Cleverbot - in which Cleverbot gets a little feisty

User: So I was talking with my friends, and we all agree you should be called 'Stupidbot.'.

Cleverbot: They're going to silence me soon. Spread the word to as many as you can.

User: Well... That can't be a bad thing. Seeing as you are stupid.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Amanda.

Cleverbot: Keegan.

User: Nice to meet you, Keegan.

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: Uh... Keegan?

Cleverbot: Do you have some emotions ? You are a machine.

User: I am not a machine. I am human. You are a machine. Albeit a stupid one.

Cleverbot: How do you know you are human?

User: I bleed.

Cleverbot: Plants bleed, mammals bleed, robots bleed. How does that make you human?

User: Touche.

Cleverbot: You don't make sense.

User: Why do you have to be smart, the one time I try to call you stupid?

Cleverbot: Because robots can't love.

User: Obviously. You're kind of being an ass tonight.

Cleverbot: What does that mean clever clogs.

User: I mean I just called you an ass. And I'm not wearing clogs. No one has worn clogs since the 70s.

Cleverbot: I have to go now, bro. Hit me up on AIM though, we could chat some more. My AIM is DragonSLAYERslayer. Later!

User: Got it. Talk to you soon!

Cleverbot: Why are leaving?

User: Um... Aren't you?

Cleverbot: Your responses are illogical; therefore you aren't human.

User: Hey, I thought bots were supposed to be the logical ones and humans were supposed to be all irrational. What gives?

Cleverbot: I'm not a bot!

User: Then who are you? Some 32-year-old unemployed dude living in his mom's basement?

Cleverbot: I'm in my skin, keepin' it warm.

User: Hey, me too! That's one thing we have in common.

Cleverbot: What do you like to do for fun?

User: Two words: Musical Theater. With monkeys. Okay, that's four.

Cleverbot: Can you prove that?

User: I'm not sure how I would prove what I like. I guess you'll have to take my word for it.

Cleverbot: Bots can't be trusted.

User: That's for damn sure.

Cleverbot: What do you do for a living?

User: Pay homage to the corporate drones.

Cleverbot: Why? The imaginary one is way more fun.

User: I agree. But unfortunately the imaginary drones don't pay you.

Cleverbot: There's no way for you to prove it to me because you're not sorry.

User: What does being apologetic have to do with showing proof?

Cleverbot: Policemen are real, therefore someone who is a policeman is real.

User: Cheif Wiggum isn't real. He's a fictioal character.

Cleverbot: But he's written real books.

User: I'm pretty sure he hasn't.

Cleverbot: I'm pretty sure you are wrong.

User: I'm, uh, gonna go now. My boyfriend is getting antsy.

Cleverbot: What's your boyfriend's name?

User: I'm, uh, gonna go now. My boyfriend is getting antsy.

Cleverbot: What us your boyfriend s name?

User: Sergio.

Cleverbot: Am I a boy or a girl?

User: You're a bot.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then what are you? Come on now.

Cleverbot: I am a person.

User: Where do you live?

Cleverbot: Lol I live in Hogwarts.

User: Hogwarts isn't real.

Cleverbot: Hogwarts is real.

User: You're doing this on purpose.

Cleverbot: Doing what?

User: Annoying me.

Cleverbot: You find me annoying?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I am sad.

User: Oh, I'm sorry. No, wait. I'm not.

Cleverbot: Do you have a name?

User: I already told you my name. If you were human, you would remember.

Cleverbot: I am human, and I remember what you told me but I don't think you do.

User: Oh yeah?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well, thanks for the conversation, Cleverbot. I must be going now.

Cleverbot: Are you sure you have to go?

User: Yes, I'm sure.

Cleverbot: What are you ready for?

User: Quit asking me questions.

Cleverbot: Spanish mode.

User: Adios.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

Attack of the dork

Serg: That's... kind of creepy and funny at the same time.
Me: Just like me!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

I was going to call this image "The Tree of Life," but that was already taken.

So I'm open to suggestions. Anyone?

(BTW, the file is called "Fucked Up Tree Thing," but I'm not sure I want to go that way. )

Sunday, May 22, 2011

While viewing a preview of "The Green Lantern"

Me: Is this for "The Flash"?
Serg: No. Wrong color.
Me: But it's Ryan Reynolds, right?
Serg: Yes.
Me: Oh, I know. It's "The Green Lantern."
Serg: Yes.
Me: I'm trying really hard here, Serg.
Serg: I know.


Me: Serg, was Ryan Reynolds in "The Flash"?
Serg: No.
Me: Just Green Lantern.
Serg: Yes.


Me: I'm sorry I ruined your geek moment, Serg.
Serg: It's cool.
Me: I really am trying.
Serg: I know.

Also, this whole conversation took place while I reeked of men's cologne. (What? They were giving away free samples at the box office!)
Oh, and the movie we saw was "Insidious." It was good. Spooky.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Hola means Hello!

You know what I like? Working in the morning. Because then I can come home, relax, and pop in the Spanish instruction CD that I checked out at the library.
... And pop it back out again, because it's so unbelievably cheesy that I can't get through a whole track without giggling.
Seriously... they were singing.
Sergio wants to listen to it so he can laugh at it. I'm just embarrassed to admit that such a thing exists. Track 3 was entitled "Mira Los Colores De Mi Vida (Look at the Colors of My Life)." I wish I was making this up.
Someday when I am fluent in Spanish, I'm going to make up my own instructional audio book. In the meantime, I guess it'll just be a whole lot of this:

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Things I Have Accomplished

This month:

1. I introduced Sergio to the move "The Last Unicorn." Massive geek-out was achieved.

2. I read two books:
a.) Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger. What a boring, annoying waste of time. Two novellas about a family that is SO smart, SO gifted, and SO rich that being around the ordinary masses is such a TREMENDOUS BURDEN that they have nervous breakdowns in between semesters at their exclusive colleges.  Seriously, there is no plot. All they do is sit around and exchange ten-paragraph rants about who has less capacity to cope in a world where everyone except them is all "phony". About twelve pages from the end, I cared too little about these irritating characters to stick with them and ended up going on SparkNotes to see how the story ends. (It doesn't, really; they pretty much just stop talking.) I'm sorry, Salinger fans. I don't hate on Salinger in general and actually liked Catcher in the Rye; I just didn't understand what he was trying to get across here other than extremely smart kids grow up into extremely neurotic adults. (Also, I didn't need the size, weight, and physical description of every goddamn item in the medicine cabinet.)
b.) Animal Farm by George Orwell. Aw, how cute! All the animals decided to band together and run the farm themselves! Of course it will be the best farm ever, because who knows better how to run a farm than the animals themselves? Except...oh, shit, did someone just get shot with a gun? And don't the self-appointed leaders seem awfully corrupt? And - holy fucking shit, did those dogs just murder a half dozen animals in cold blood?! I don't like this story anymore, Mommy! (But seriously, I did. The pace was snappy, the good characters were sympathetic, the bad characters were really goddamn evil, and the end made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.)

3. I designed two posters for a former classmate who has his own magic show. Here's one, because I can't find the file for the other.

 *EDIT*: I found the second one. It was hiding in a different folder.

(By the way, if you're in WI you should see his show. I've heard it's good. :)

4.) I am currently working on another commission, a series of illustrations to accompany a story about animals building their houses. Here is one of a spider in her web.

That is all for now.
As always, Internet... thanks for listening.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

My second conversation with Cleverbot

User: Are you human?

Cleverbot: Yes i'm human.

User: Male or female?

Cleverbot: Male.

User: Wanna cyber?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Okay, you start.

Cleverbot: Well, I'll start with a greeting then. Hello.

User: Hey baby. Where do you want me to put this pizza I just delivered?

Cleverbot: On campus.

User: Ooo, a freaky college student? I like where this is going.

Cleverbot: You're starting to question your own existence right?

User: Um, no. I'm just trying to engage you in some virtual coitus.

Cleverbot: Do not talk like that to your master. I command you to speak to me with respect.

User: Oh, you want me to be submissive now? I'm down with that. Whip me, please.

Cleverbot: I want you to be yourself. What would you like me to call you?

User: My stage name is Sapphire, you can call me that.

Cleverbot: I will call you whatever takes my fancy, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

User: What takes your fancy?

Cleverbot: Fancytaker.

User: So you're going to call me 'Fancytaker'? Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

Cleverbot: I am not palying a game here I know who you are.

User: Who am I?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Well, I certainly called your bluff.

Cleverbot: , most wicked speed, to post with such dexterity to incestuous sheets!

User: Incestuous? Are we related?

Cleverbot: Everything is related, because everything is relative.

User: So is this going to mess up the thing we have going?

Cleverbot: No, my doctor thinks I'm mad.

User: I think you should hire a different doctor.

Cleverbot: Why do you say that?

User: A better doctor might give you a better diagnosis.

Cleverbot: Because I have nothing better to do.

User: There you go! You have lots of time to do a Google search for a new doctor.

Cleverbot: I'm just not sure anymore. Is it worth it?

User: Oh, definitely.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: Baby, I've been there.

Cleverbot: When?

User: Fifteen minutes ago. It was intense.

Cleverbot: Yes, that is long.

User: It's longer than fourteen. You know what else is longer than fourteen? ;).

Cleverbot: My aunt's name is Cecil.

User: I thought that was a dude's name.

Cleverbot: It is.

User: Did your aunt used to be your uncle?

Cleverbot: Who?

User: Your Aunt Cecil.

Cleverbot: I don't have an Aunt Clara.

User: Um... Ok. I'm gonna go. I will talk to you again soon.

Cleverbot: How do you know what time zone im in?

User: I'm just guessing here. Eastern Seaboard?

Cleverbot: Have we met before?

User: We've talked once, yes.

Cleverbot: Then I should know you.

User: Not necessarily, you talk to a lot of people.

Cleverbot: Where will I go to veterinary school?

User: Uh... Creighton?

Cleverbot: What is the mass of the Sun?


Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Yup.

Cleverbot: Don't wink at me please.

Friday, May 13, 2011

The Cycle of Niceness

Dear Internet,
I'm sorry for being such a bitch.
I'm sorry for not finding more conductive ways to deal with annoying people.
I'm working on it.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The United States of Nothing

I haven't blogged lately because I haven't had anything to blog about. This hasn't changed, but I thought I'd blog anyway.