1. Rip off a hook from a song that was a hit 20 years ago.
2. Back it up with an electronic drum track.
3. For lyrics, find your 13-year-old daughter's diary and "borrow" one of her poems.
4. Find whatever girl the producer is sleeping with this week; park her in front of a microphone and have her do her "whoa-oh-oh" thing.
5. Autotune the hell out of it.