Basically, everything embarrasses me.
- I'm embarrassed when I finish telling a story, and the person I'm telling to says, "Yeah, you told me that already." And often, "... three times."
- I'm embarrassed when I show up at the wrong house for a party. (I did this for the first time last month. It was mortifying.)
- I'm embarrassed when I misinterpret someone's question so badly that I end up revealing something extremely personal about myself, when they were asking something completely innocuous.
- I'm embarrassed when I'm talking to myself and I accidentally make eye contact with someone, and it looks like I'm chanting incantations at them.
- I'm embarrassed when I'm listening to Hedwig and the Angry Inch and someone who's unfamiliar with the show walks in on the line, "Where my penis used to be, where my vagina never was..."
- I'm embarrassed to reveal that the first cassette tape I ever owned was Michael Bolton's Soul Provider.
- I'm embarrassed that I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was almost 11.
- And after 17 years, I still get embarrassed when I think about The Valentine Incident.
I'm getting embarrassed just thinking about all these embarrassing things. I'm going to go drink myself to death now.